Normandy's private logs
by blood colored ink
Summary: the Private logs of Commander Shepard and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams through out their hunt for the rouge Spectre Saren. Will contain Femslash. For a more detailed summary please look inside.
1. Bioware Disclaimer and Summary

*Disclaimer* I own absolutely nothing, it all belongs to the talented people at Bioware, I just like to play with them every once and a while.

*Summary* Nothing to graphic compared to others on here, and I tried to limit the curse words used, So basically mass effect one is unraveling during all of this and I tried to show references to that, but it centers on the relationship between Ashley Williams and Kianna Shepard ( pronounced 'key-anna' in case you needed help). My Shepard is a paragon player, born an orphan on earth, and a war hero of the blitz if you wanted to know. it goes pretty slow at first with them both trying to fight what they feel, but hey ambition is strong and so are their feelings, love may pull through just yet. Oh and I know the entries are rather small but there are a lot of them and well they get to the point. oh and in case you re wondering Makenna Ross is a character i made up, I decided to use my Shepard's ex girlfriend to bring Ashley and Shepard together. nothing like an old flame to light a new spark.

*Authors Note* I know the chapters are rather small, but it is intentional - I will post a new entry every day. I plan to make this the first of three (Mass Effect 1, 2, and 3)

*remember reviews are always appreciated*


	2. CH 1

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry One:

We failed. There's no other way to put it, Eden Prime is lost to the geth, to Saren, to God knows who else. I'm stuck in the med bay for now down time as it were, truth be told I could use it after that beacon... what the hell was that anyway? I mean I'm use to the nightmares they come with the job, but sense that beacon, I don t know they re different somehow more intense, more real, and they aren t of life on earth or the blitz anymore they re of the protheans, just flashes so far: the screams, words I cant understand, panic, slaughter, then the machines... geth? no they look different than the geth, whoever they were, they were ruthless. Chief Williams checks on me every once and awhile, I haven't decided if its out of concern or guilt yet. but either way I don't mind, she's good company and about the only person that the doc allows to "intrude" on my so called resting, she seems dedicated to the alliance ( even when she's criticizing it... she does it respectfully) her family is all military she said, i found myself a little envious honestly she's strong, well spoken, and has a family... it makes me wonder if she realizes just how lucky she is.  
Next stop: Citadel ETA a little under three hours. 


	3. CH 2

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry One:

Eden Prime was a massacre, dead marines, dead civilians, geth every where, and then that damn beacon. I should have known better than to approach it like I did, I was careless and it almost got Commander Shepard killed, oh can you imagine what would've happened if she died because of me? She says it wasn't my fault that "I had no idea what would've happened", and that does mean a lot coming from someone like her but shes wrong a Williams needs to work twice as hard to be the best. I go and check on her a lot now that she is confined to the med bay Alenko tried but the doc wouldn't have it, she said that she needed rest. I don't know why the doc lets me see her, (maybe its because I m the reason shes in the med bay) but I appreciate it. Shes not what I expected her to be like, I mean sure she has the whole I m a total bad ass thing going on, but shes funny (which causes her to smirk, the "you know I m right" smirk), and smart, but there's something underneath it all something sad in the way she carries herself when she thinks no ones around... I wonder what she feels she needs to hide.  
Next stop: Citadel ETA about three hours. 


	4. CH 3

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Two:

Kianna Shepard Spectere? Never saw that coming... the little girl from the slums of earth, whose second nature was to steal, cheat, and lie to get what she wanted weather it was credits, drugs, sex, (or any thing else that I yearned for) is now a Spectere, "a protector of the galaxy" as the council put it. It all seems so surreal, I don't deserve this honor, i mean if they knew what I was back then, the things I ve done... they wouldn't understand... how could they? admitting that i have a past, that I m flawed, would ruin their poster girl image of me, I would never be Commander Shepard, Hero of the Blitz...Spectere. 


	5. CH 4

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Three:

I cant believe what happened to Anderson, that he was just pushed aside like that, And I just let it happen, worse than that I took the Normandy from him... of course I did it was one of my rules: only look out for yourself, if it benefits you who cares who it hurts? I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my fault but I know that s not true if I had wanted to I could have stood my ground and made sure Anderson was still on the Normandy. Williams tried to tell me it wasn't my fault today, I m not sure how she always knows what I m thinking (another thing I admire about her) it was sweet of her to try and console me but I know for myself that I am responsible. But now I have to catch Saren, stop the reapers, and if at all possible redeem myself in the process... oh sod it all.  
Next stop: Therum ETA seven hours and counting. 


	6. CH 5

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Two:

Shepard feels guilty about Anderson, I can feel it. I tried to tell her its not her fault all she said was "of course not" and smiled that signature smirk of hers. I swear that woman drives me mad sometimes I mean what does it take for her to just be happy even for a little bit, shes a Spectere, and now has the command of her own ship and not just any ship the best damn alliance ship in the Galaxy, but is she happy? no instead she feels guilty about something that she had no control over, she needs to just relax and realize what she had accomplished for herself and for humanity. Next stop: Therum ETA just around seven hours.  



	7. CH 6

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Four:

The council can kiss my ass... I mean how was I suppose to save the ruins, they were full of geth and were tumbling down from when we used the mining laser to free Liara. And on that note how when did they start picking my crew, I mean if they are that concerned about the company I keep they can get off their high horses and come save the galaxy themselves. I mean not only is she a Prothean expert, and Benezia's daughter, but she also is helping me understand and sift through my Prothean visions. what more could I ask from the poor girl. 


	8. CH 7

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Three:

I don't trust her, I mean the whole "I'm not Benezia" thing give me a break, and the way she stares at Shepard, but I guess I can't blame her for that one, her long blonde hair does tend to swish from side to side when she has it pulled back into a pony tail its hard not to stare at her... but I still don't trust her and if Shepard does then I guess that means I ll be watching her back from now on, I wonder if she likes when T'soni stares at her...  



	9. CH 8

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Five:

I don't know what was worse the nightmare I had of my past or my run in with Williams not shortly after wards: It was early maybe two or two-thirty in the morning when I woke, the cold sweat stung as it slowly dripped down my back and a tear pierced the corner of my eye begging for release, but i would not let it even there in my cabin alone I still would not permit myself to cry. It was the most intense nightmare yet, the screams grew in my head as I sat in bed no matter how much i fought it the flashes of his bloodied face blazed across my mind, burning its self there forever. I couldn't stay in bed, I had no desire to sleep after that (now looking back I wish I had) I stood up and slipped on the shorts i had discarded before entering the now empty bed, and I ran my hands down the abdomen of the white tank smoothing out non-existing wrinkles. I made my way into the mess hall I don't know why ice cream is always the answer to calm your emotions, well it usually is and probably would have worked too if Williams didn t...strut her way into the mess hall. I don t know what she was thinking when she stared at me... into me, but her eyes were soft,caring, welcoming and I found myself staring back at her until she walked over and picked up a spoon and starting eating the ice cream with me. "Was it the visions" she asked as her eyes darted up to mine.  
"No" I answered pulling my eyes away from hers.  
"Do you want..." she paused as her hand found its way to my back, but finishing her sentence when my body tightened against her touch "...never mind..."  
"I'm fine Williams" her hand still on my back "I always am" I slide off the counter we were occupying but her words stopped me before I could leave.  
"What was it like?"she said in almost a whisper "when you were on earth?" she had finish her question, and knew she had hit dead on what I had been thinking about ( she always knows what im thinking about) when I didn't answer right away.  
"...Good night Ashley..." it was all I could manage to say,before I locked myself away in my cabin again, closed my eyes as I fell back on the already ruffled bed and heard the screaming again, not the protheans, or their machines, not anyone whom I have slain, no these screams were mine, and as I took a deep breath in and opened my eyes a single tear found release from the corner of my eye.  
Next stop: Freedoms Progress ETA one hour. 


	10. CH 9

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Four:

She called me Ashley... she's never called me by my first name before I wonder if that means something or was she just tired and trying to get me to stop probing her for answers. I've never seen her that way before her hair was down, long, and layered it stooped mid center of her back, a small white tank top covered her upper half (well most of her upper half), when ever she moved her slim tanned waste would show, along with her tanned toned legs that were showing from where her small athletic shorts stopped at her mid thigh. I can't get that image out of my mind... shes Beautiful, almost delicate (when she doesn't have a pistol pointed between your eyes)...shit I can't think of her like that shes my commander. she's my friend... and she's my fantasy.  
Next stop: Freedoms Progress ETA one hour. 


	11. CH 10

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Six:

Maybe I should get use to the med bay, it seems I keep ending up in here, not that I mind a little down time I just wish I didn't have to have it be because of two blaster shots to my side (oh it hurts to laugh) , Williams...Ashley was here about an hour ago checking up on me, I told her I m fine but she didn't believe me I over herd her tell the doc that "if she moves from that bed call me, and I ll put her back in it myself" I m almost tempted to get up just to see if she will... I wouldn't resist if she tried to put me in a bed that s for sure, I mean look at her her long thick black hair, her perfect skin, and those eyes, I melt whenever they linger on me. I need to calm myself around her... shes a solider there are regulations against this, the last thing I need is to be court martialed right now.


	12. CH 11

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Five:

Shes sleeping, dreaming from the way she keeps moving, whenever she moves the fabric of her shirt etches up a little and causes my heart to race, I long to touch her to feel her skin upon mine and... was that a moan? it was soft and quiet, it was enough to make me want her more, what is she dreaming about? No, I know what she is dreaming about there s only one thing that makes a woman moan like that, but who is there inside her mind causing her imaginary pleasure? does she have someone? I ve never asked her if she has a girlfriend... a boyfriend, how would I ask her without revealing my own feelings, what if it's Liara, it could easily be her they talk all the time and its no secret that Liara wants her... oh god please let it be me, let her be dreaming about me.  



	13. CH 12

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Seven:

God, it was better than the nightmares that s for sure, I can still feel her against me the taste of her mouth, the feel of her skin, and the cool of her tongue against my... God! how am I suppose to look her in the eyes now? not after that, this is stupid I m twenty-five not some teenager I should be able to control myself better than this I mean I ache for her, when she walks into a room I cant breathe, my eyes linger on her and I allow them to wander over her body. It shouldn't be this way I should be able to calm myself against these emotions. but I want her, not just some image my mind conjures up, I want Ashley. 


	14. CH 13

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Six:

I've never been so relieved in my life: We were all in the mess hall since Shepard was released from the med bay yesterday, relaxing before we all shove off for bed since we were back on track with the mission after Shepard s "two shot pause" for a couple of days. She was sitting between Garrus and Tali. Kadian, Liara, and Wrex were sitting on the other side of the table and I was next to Tali who was intently listening to Garrus joke with Shepard as they exchanges verbal blows until Garrus exhaled and said "so, whats the deal Shepard?" She smirked of course before she answered "with what?"  
"Oh come on Shepard you could have anyone in the galaxy you wanted" he paused as she smirked again " so whose waiting for you at home once all of this" he through his arms up as a gesture "is over? a nice strong man? with deep intense eyes?" he finished his question, her smirk lingered still as she thought of a reply.  
when her mouth finally opened in response Kadian cut her off "Yea right, that s so not Kianna's type" he said with a laugh, he was the only one that called her by her first name on account they've known each other for years.  
"That s right you've served with Shepard for years" Liara added to his interruption.  
"then what's her type?" Tali jumped into the conversation, they all stared at Kadian who was smiling thinking of his answer, I myself was looking at Shepard as she rolled her eyes away from Kadian.  
"Well..." he exhaled "smart, sensitive, complete knock-out, and..." his sentence trailed off as she stood and as she started towards the captains quarters in the corner of the room she glanced back.  
eyes trained on Garrus she smirked " Kadian?" "Kianna?" he answered.  
As she turned back around she struck the last verbal blow to Garrus "you forgot female".  
Next stop: Noveria ETA twelve hours. 


	15. CH 14

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Eight:

Liara seems tense I understand, well I try to I mean were about see her mother (hopefully) and if she doesn't surrender I will be forced to take action (sadly) which she knows. I want to be there for her I mean I know shes one hundred and six years old but in a lot of ways she reminds me of a little girl, scared and lost in all of this. Its not like she choose this like the rest of us she was just sort of thrown in the middle of the chaos and that... that I understand.  
Next stop: Noveria ETA four hours.  



	16. CH 15

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Nine:

Well that probably could have gone better, for starters Benezia could have not been taken over by the enemy, she could have not died, Liara could not have been forced to kill her mother, and Ashley could not have looked at me that way when I unleashed the rachni. but hey what can you do? and not to mention what happened when we got back on the Normandy: we were all tired and worn out as the three of us walked aboard the Normandy "Shepard." Joker said if only to get my attention "there s a woman waiting to speak with you in the comm room she said that you wouldn t mind her waiting, she also said her name was Makenna Ross if that helps." he said happy I wasn't yelling for letting non personnel aboard.  
"Mak?" I said not really believing it to be true.  
"That s what the lady said" Joker answered as he turned the chair back around to face his monitors. I made my way to the comm room Liara and Ashley still in tow just as they would after any mission. whatever doubt I had vanished as the door open to my approach. there she was, standing there with her short brown feathered hair, and her emerald green eyes, the only woman who I ever let have my heart and the only woman who smashed it to pieces.  
"Mak..." I let out under my breath, as she approached me, the rest of the crew was now making their way into the comm room ready for a debriefing.  
"Hello Kianna, how have you been?" she said not really knowing what to say to me.  
"What do you want?" the air grew sharp at my abruptness and the crew found themselves now wishing they weren't there.  
"I suppose I shouldn't expect you to be happy to see me after... well after the last time we saw each other" she of course was referring to the night she broke my heart the night she revealed her...infatuation with another person. "I...I need to talk to you" the words came out as though they tasted bitter "alone." alone they way I felt when she told me that night, the way I soon was when I left and never returned, the way I wished I could've been that second.  
"What about?" I replied half sarcastically but half defensive.  
"Kianna..." she said in that way that she knew I would comply to, the way I always complied to.  
"Fine...the debriefing can wait I have to deal with her" I said in a mocking tone to crew who had been standing there silently "so go play and do try not to light the ship on fire well I m busy" I finished dismissing the crew as I led Mak to the captains quarters. "so?" I asked as the two of us stood there 'alone'.  
"I...I probably would never have done this, but you were here and I've wanted to do this for along time... ever since that night, but you never talked to me after that and I didn't know how to find you..." she was rambling, something I use to find so cute about her, something I hate now. " well I came to... apologize"  
"Don t" was all I managed to say, I hate apologies their pointless it doesn't change anything just eases the wrong-doer s conscience.  
"I need to..." she stepped closer "I..." her hand raised and brushed my cheek "I miss you" her hand slid to the back of my neck and pulled me in for a hard kiss, I fought it but she didn't care, she kept her lips on mine and her hand grasped firmly around the back of my neck. then she moved to lift my shirt, but I backed away my emotions running wild inside me.  
"you can't do this" I said, sounding more hurt then I would have liked to "you can just come back and expect everything to pick up where we left off... its just not how it works" I explained to the woman before me.  
"I'm sorry" she said stepping towards me again.  
"I wish that was enough" I honestly did as I gestured to the door "I think... you should...go" my throat grew dryer and dryer as I spoke, she walked out silently and left me there 'alone', my eyes weld up but no tears fell I would not permit them to fall, not for her. 


	17. CH 16

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Seven:

Alone. they were in her quarters alone. I was worried about that until "Mak" came walking out of Shepard's quarters five minutes later looking unsatisfied, so I went to check on Shepard but what happened there was very unexpected: the door opened to the dark small quarters revealing Shepard standing by her desk looking at a data pad. I walked in till I was about half way in the room and then asked "are you ok?".  
"of course I am Williams" she lied "I'm always ok." she didn't want to talk about it, it was in her tone but she needed to I know she did.  
" I thought you were always fine" I said stressing the word.  
"well that too" she said smirking at me "uh-huh" I said trying to figure out what to say, or what to do next in my head "so which is it commander" I teased her as I stepped in closer to her "are you fine..." my eyes wondered up and down her body " or ok?" she stepped in and closed the gap that was between us, it was passionate, and soft as my tongue explored her mouth I shuffled her backwards till we fell on her bed never breaking our kiss. we stayed that way for a while just a strand of passionate kisses one after another rolling around our bodies locked together we wouldn't have stopped but there was suddenly noise on the comm. It was joker "hey commander the council is waiting to talk to you, they have that "its the end of the world" tone in their voice so I d be careful if I was you". we both stopped and looked at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. we stood up in our silence she opened her mouth to say something, anything to end the "did we just do that" silence, but I wouldn't let her I pulled her body into mine and kissed her again our tongues met and slid past each other, we were as close together as we could possibly be it was what I wanted and I wasn't about to let her say something about being court marshaled. she broke the kiss and ended with a sweet quick lip lock before she headed to the comm room, which said she understood. 


	18. CH 17

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Eight:

We haven't talked about our... incident. Its been a couple of days since it happened, were on our way to Virmire for the council, at first I thought she was just preparing for the mission like she usually does, but even then we don't go this long with out talking. Is she embarrassed? regretful? confused? I just wish she would talk to me, I'm starting to worry that she doesn't want this, us...me.  
Next stop: Virmire ETA just under five hours. 


	19. CH 18

*warning* this chapter contains a flashback in which there is rape. If you wish to skip this chapter I fully understand. If you wish to read however please do.

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Ten:

What did I do? how could I be that stupid? I mean we can't do this, there are rules and consequences... but does it matter? I want her not because shes beautiful (which she is), not because shes smart (no ones smarter), and not because she fun (the only thing that makes me relax), but because if anyone could understand... if I could actually tell anyone it would be her.  
I could tell her about Earth, about the things I did (the stealing and fighting and the drugs), and maybe just maybe I could tell her the real reason I joined the Alliance: The screams I can still hear them, there was so much pain as he pressed himself down on me, the smell of liquor, sweat, and blood clouded my senses. my screams grew louder as he forced himself into me, the tears that streamed down my face were colorless and held no comfort. He continued blow after blow he plunged into me, faster and faster as he stared into my tear stained eyes I remember his words as he grasped my hair and whispered into my ear " now that s a good little girl" and he grinned as he filled me with his evilness, his product of my rape. when he pulled out I found relief that it was over... but I was wrong, it wasn't over it will never be over whenever I close my eyes I see that grin, whenever I lay down I feel the pressure of him on top of me, dominating me... when his pants where zipped and as he ran his hand through his hair he winked and the last thing he said was "I m sorry sweetheart."  
Next stop: Virmire ETA two hours.  



	20. CH 19

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Eleven:

I understand Kianna, I don't regret a thing. His words run through my mind over and over again. I can't believe he's gone, and its my fault, I could have saved him, I could've done... something. His parents I don't even know what I m going to say to them when this is all over. and Ashley I need to talk to her about this, I know she thinks this is her fault, but its not... its mine. Kadian was her superior he was the one I was suppose to go to, but I couldn't, I couldn't leave her there.  



	21. CH 20

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Nine:

Shepard told me "it's not your fault, I made the call, I left him there, Kadian's dead because of me" It was the first thing she's told me since we kissed and its the only thing she's told me since we kissed. I want to tell her It's not her fault, to hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright and have her believe me. But she needs time to say the least she's not ready for this, for caring and opening up. somethings holding her back something is keeping her from being happy even before Kadian, and Saren, and Sovereign. I wish she would just let me in...  



	22. CH 21

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Twelve:

Acceptance: Virmire played through my mind as I sat in bed surrounded by darkness, panting, my eyes welled and I closed them so nothing could fall from them. I didn't bother with the shorts next to the bed this time, it was late and I had not expected to be out of my quarters that long so the long navy blue tee shirt sufficed. I ran my fingers through my blonde hair pushing it back out of my face, I rounded the corner outside my quarters into the mess hall in search for my emotion stabilizer: ice cream. and that s when I saw her, Ashley was sitting on the floor back against the counter, ice cream container in one hand and a spoon in the other, so many thoughts ran through my mind, but I ignored them I picked up a spoon and sat next to her and ate a bite of ice cream. "do you need to..." my hand rested on her knee "talk?" I looked into her brown eyes that were usually filled will mischief, were now filled with pain.  
"I'm fine" she paused and looked away "I always am" she was now forcing steady breaths.  
"No your not" she looked at me.  
"how do you know?" she asked defensive.  
My hand slid slowly from her knee to her upper inner thigh "because I m not" I answered her.  
"What happened to you Shepard?" she whispered " on Earth?" she lifted my hand with hers and intertwined out fingers and gazed into my eyes, I wanted to look away, to tell her nothing happened but when I opened my mouth only the truth came out. And so we sat there and I told her from the orphanage, to the streets, to the gangs, drugs, stealing, and to the memory that still haunts me. We sat there as I finally accepted who I am, as I cleansed my soul and she sat in silence not one question, one statement, or remark, the only thing she did the whole time was listen and stroke my hand with her thumb as I struggled through my confession.  
We sat there after wards in silence it seemed like forever, until she looked at me and let out a small silent laugh, and stared at me.  
"What?" I asked a little confused.  
She leaned in and whispered in my ear "you don't have pants on" and smiled at me.  
I smiled and leaned my head back on the wall of the counter and took a deep breath in " well, I wasn't expecting a thief" I exhaled as I picked up the melting ice cream and put the lid back on it. as I stood I could feel eyes lingering just wear the shirt ended, which caused me to smirk. I put away the ice cream and slowly made my way towards my quarters, "good night Ashley" I said never turning around.  
"Tease" she called back after me, my smirk never fading.  
Next stop: Citadel ETA four hours. 


	23. CH 22

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Ten:

She's been through so much, she's stronger than I knew, god is she stronger than I knew and she opened up, she's ready to actually be with someone, well emotionally anyway, but there is still that whole fraternization thing but I want her, I want to map every inch of her body: the navy blue shirt was big and hid most of her curves, but it ended just at the bottom of her ass, and the small white panties underneath did a poor job of hiding her tan ass from my lingering eyes. I need her, and I need her soon.  
Next stop: Citadel ETA one hour.  



	24. CH 23

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Thirteen:

Shit. we stole the Normandy, I cant believe we actually stole the Normandy... no I stole the Normandy, whatever happens I stole the Normandy I m not about to let my crew go down for this it was my decision, hell I ll say I held Joker at gun point if I have to. I just hope I m doing the right thing, and if I ever stop doing the right thing one of the crew will be brave enough to shoot me, I know Ashley would if I tried to do the 'wrong thing' well that or tie me up and punish me... god I want her, there was a moment earlier before we took the Normandy: I sat in front of my locker, wallowing in self pity, and the she came to me stood there for a second, maybe hoping I had a plan.  
"Skipper?" she has gotten use to calling me that, I can't even remember the first time she did,  
"I can't believe it, I thought they would see" I said to myself as much as to her "I thought they would actually see."  
"You re an optimist Shepard, in times like this I m glad I m not" she said trying to lighten the mood.  
"Yeah? well the just killed us all..." still engulfed in my pity.  
"So that s it?" confusion in her voice "you re giving up?" anger rang through.  
"Not a chance" I smirked, I went to push myself up, but noticed the extended hand in front of me, as I was getting up she pulled her arm back which caused me to lose balance. I was against her, I pulled back slowly but as I looked into her eyes I was pulled back in, our lips just a moment away from each other neither of us breathing, this one would be different I could feel it, our time altering kiss was only seconds away when Joker chimed in.  
"Commander?" he wanted my attention.  
"What do you want?" I ask attitude shined through.  
"Captain Anderson wants you to meet him at flux" he said with his own attitude "oh, he said it was important." the comm went silent.  
"you should probably go see whats so important" she said failing to hide the smile growing on her face.  
Next stop: Ilos six hours...damn.  



	25. CH 24

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Eleven:

I m going to go to her I don't care about the regs anymore we stole the Normandy and well kidnapped most of the crew. getting court marshaled now doesn't even seem like a big deal anymore I mean we could all die on this mission and I don't want it to be without knowing her touch.  
Next stop: Ilos five hours... god help us. 


	26. CH 25

*warning* this chapter contains a sexual encounter if this offends you, please feel free to skip this chapter. However if this does not offend, please enjoy.

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Fourteen:

Shes sleeping, she needs it before we hit Ilos, especially after that: I was at my desk preparing for the mission when the door opened, the silhouette of her figure peered into the darkness of my quarters.  
"Ashley?" I said hoping I was right.  
"Skipper..." she didn't know what to say, she wasn't here to talk. "I want you, Kianna" she stooped when my eyes darted up at the use of my name. "If we die, if we win, if were arrested for taking the Normandy" she laughs "I want you...Kianna" she was testing the waters, but my passion had already blinded me.  
I pulled her in for the kiss we had been deprived of next to the lockers I pulled her close as our tongues explored each others mouths, she moved to lift my shirt which I allowed as she pulled it off, I kissed her again, my hands rapidly undoing her pants, it took only mere seconds for pants, shirts, and boots to be thrown across my quarters. This time I shuffled us backwards until she fell onto the white sheets of my bed, I slowly climbed on top of her as our eyes met so did our lips for another time, but it didn't last I moved my attention to her neck, her shoulder, her arm, side, stomach, and then I stooped at her panty line I looked up at her brown pleading eyes and smirked as I slowly pulled them off of her. I gave her a teasing lick which caused her to moan, my tongue moved fast, as I pleasured her she grabbed the white sheets (I took this as a good sign) my tongue slide into her unleashing another moan above me, my finger soon took the place of my tongue smoothly sliding in and out of her as my tongue went back to work licking her clit. her breathing increased it grew more and more irregular, but I didn t stop I wanted to take her to the edge and beyond, and then she climaxed.  
"Kianna" she struggle to say as I licked up to her navel, and kissed my way up to her soft, wet lips. we laid there for a moment eyes closed, catching a breath, until she climbed on top of me. making her way down my body as I did hers, she however didn't wait to remove the panties I was still wearing as she slipped them off I cold feel the cool of her tongue against the heat that covered me. as her speed grew if forced me to moan in pleasure, as her finger entered me, my head thrusted backwards in ecstasy. She was extremely skilled at making me moan for her, especially at my climax, my mind had cleared and the only thing I was able to do was moan "Ashley".  
Next stop:Ilos twenty minutes...I'm ready.  



	27. CH 26

Normandy SR-1 Chief Williams Private Logs Entry Twelve:

Shes sleeping, she deserves to after that, I cant believe she actually did it, Saren, Sovereign, all of it she did it and lived to tell about it. She truly is amazing, Garrus came by a couple minutes ago to check on her but the doc said "she's not to be disturbed, maybe later Garrus.". She never tried to turn me away, not from the start after Eden Prime, maybe she just knew... that we needed each other. Even when she is sleeping there s a smirk on her face, God... I love her.  



	28. CH 27

Normandy SR-1 Commander Shepard Private Logs Entry Fifteen:

We succeeded. There s no other way to put it. Saren, Sovereign, and a good amount of geth along the way if I might add, oh not to mention those Cerberus facilities I consider those a personal victory. I just can wait to get out of the med bay, I have things that need attending to... like Ashley. She is what I want. no matter what happens, I want to be with her, I need her there s no way I can be with out her after all of this. I love her. 


	29. Thank You For Reading

and that concludes mass effect 1, so I think i'm doing mass effect 2 like this... good idea or bad idea? let me know if you want the squeal or not :)

untill next time, BCI


End file.
